New bag

Finally a new backpack for me!! Bag from Stephen bought from BKK! Thanks for buying for me!!!!! Super love it!

Finally no more pink kanken bag with many other people taking the same bag as me!!!! Thanks buddy! 

):

Fever.

Cough. 

Phlegm. 

Body ache. 

Chills. 

Having all these 1 week from a levels. Awesome or what? I don't ever want to get sick, EVER.

Monday

Hello // Ni Hao.

It's 11 more days to a levels but I think I'm pretty much fucked up. But as inspired by Nick Vujicic, who is now by far my favourite motivational speaker, said, how people always complain they can't do it but here they are now. I thought I couldn't make it for O's, I thought I couldn't make it for promos, I thought I couldn't live another day of problems. Here I am now.  I'm not going to give up cos this obstacle will pass through eventually. 

POSITIVE THOUGHTS.

And today is stay home Monday cos my lazy bones decided that I shouldn't go out. 

Made my own lunch and I think I'm pretty healthy huh. 

Here's my lunch -> oatmeal w bananas. And my drink, wolfberries + dried longans and red dates which I all just put into a cup and add hot water. Bought these Chinese ingredients from a yao cai dian! Supposedly to make me more refreshed and energetic to study. 

I pray hard I will have a great day studying and forgive myself of all the wrongs I did and to start afresh. 

Bye. 

Make it count.

Huishi's 18

So I met my girls for Huishi's 18th birthday at orchard central ytd! Went for this restaurant called MEDZ. It's a Marche concept restaurant where you are given a card which is used to order food from different stalls. No much people though! 

Rose I bought for her!

Food we ordered and shared!!

The cakes were 3 for $15.90! So we got this pretty rainbow cake which tastes...... Meh. 

Lemon Meringue Cake. Well, can someone teach me how you pronounce this? Like Merink? Or Meh-Ri-nique? 

And chocolate fudge cake!!! All the cakes look pretty but taste so so. The cake damn "cake-y" la! Like flour-y! 

Yums Rosti with sour cream! It's actually good! Better than Marche's. Marche's like very dry but this is wetter and has a pepper and salt taste to it! $5.90 only! Not bad! 

Ham & Cheese Pizza

Plus a pot of Chamomile! I love chamomile but Huishi and crystal prefer Pepsi over this ): hen weird hor them. Unhealthy kids!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUI HUI

After that we went outside and there's like pretty wall decorations in B2 of orchard central! So we took lots of photos. Here's multi talented me balancing a rose on my head. 

Our OOTD shots

♡♡♡

The secret to why Crystal always look sideways in her Instagram's OOTD shots. Now you know

okkkkkkk. That's all. ♡

Shall end off a photo of my birthday card to Huishi. My art like A1 hor. 

LOVE THEM! xx

Hey.

The other day at Punggol Ranch. Such a pretty place! ♡

   

Sweep me off my feets will you? 

Why

So so disappointed in myself. I had 4 days to study and I did nothing for 4 days. I'm taking this too lightly, too too lightly. You suck crystal.

Push on

Everything will blossom out just right. 

T G I F

Wimbly Lu date with Maria and Kaiwen today! A good night after a whole day of chem which sucks.

Studied in sch then off we go by cab to Wimbly! $10 plus cab from sch la so expensive!!! Maybe cos it was peak hour( around 7 plus) so it was like jam + peak hour surcharge. But it's probably better to cab on your first visit cos it's really deep within the bungalows. Didn't expect it to be located amongst the bungalows. 

& When we arrived, had to queue for pretty long too but the cute guy waiter was nice so it's fine! Hehe 

And it's really full plus the place is small so the 3 of us had to share a two seater.

The interior is nice though! 

Such an ideal date place that had us saying "why are we still single" HAHAHA. 

Ordered waffles which is super good! Never thought waffles can actually taste good, I mean like I always thought all waffles taste the same hahaha. I know thats what you think too you suagu(s) out there, I know I'm not the only suagu. But it's really good! The crisp is there and ya la it's just nice, I can't describe food well I apologise . 

With chocolate truffles ice cream + maple  syrup. 

With salted caramel and chocolate sauce. 

Ordered chocolate marshmallow pie which no one can finish plus lagsana, caffe latte, hot chocolate too! 

And so.......... Overall : Good night good food good waiter good service good atmosphere good place. 

Ok good night, xx. 

GOOD VIBES

WOOOOHOOOOOO GOOD VIBES CRYSTAL GOOD VIBES. 

POSITIVE THOUGHTS POSITIVE THOUGHTS. You love chem and you will conquer it! 

HAHAHA OK WHAT. Seriously, anyone who tells me chem is not created by aliens, I don't trust you cos you are obviously lying. 

But guess what,chem, I'm gonna freaking touch you (the textbooks, don't think sick) and read you and love you. PLEASE GIVE ME A E/D FOR CHEM PLEASE. I DON'T WANT TO RETAKE A LEVELS AND I WONTTTTTTT. 

CHEM IS EASY CHEM IS FUN CHEM IS MY BEST FRIEND. YAY I LOVE CHEM. 

Watch your ass chemistry! You are going down! 

Score: Chemistry - 0, Crystal - 1. 

-

At times like this, I honesty can't stop asking myself "what am I doing with my life". I have come so far yet I feel so lost and clueless on what's the next step.

I know A's is in 33 days and that's my only chance to get into a local university and do myself and everyone else proud. But I just can't. I don't know why I can't concentrate. I don't know why I'm using my phone non stop. I don't know why I'm giving myself excuses. I don't know why I have so many back up plans in mind including retaking A levels. I don't know what's wrong with me really.

Maybe it's because I'm older and I now think I have the ability to do whatever I want including A's. Maybe it's because I'm living in self denial. But honestly I'm at a lost and living in such a mess. 

At times like this, how I wish a time machine exists to bring me back to first day of JC1. I know the only way now is forward and not think backward but I honestly can't help it. 33 more days I really.......... Can't. Someone, please pull me out of this shit hole and save me. Please. 

Cuppa for you?

You don't walk into Starbucks without taking a photo of it, mate.

I'm not sad

“He awoke each morning with the desire to do right, to be a good and meaningful person, to be, as simple as it sounded and as impossible as it actually was, happy. And during the course of each day his heart would descend from his chest into his stomach. By early afternoon he was overcome by the feeling that nothing was right, or nothing was right for him, and by the desire to be alone. By evening he was fulfilled: alone in the magnitude of his grief, alone in his aimless guilt, alone even in his loneliness. I am not sad, he would repeat to himself over and over, I am not sad. As if he might one day convince himself. Or fool himself. Or convince others--the only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad.I am not sad. I am not sad. Because his life had unlimited potential for happiness, insofar as it was an empty white room. He would fall asleep with his heart at the foot of his bed, like some domesticated animal that was no part of him at all. And each morning he would wake with it again in the cupboard of his rib cage, having become a little heavier, a little weaker, but still pumping. And by the midafternoon he was again overcome with the desire to be somewhere else, someone else, someone else somewhere else. I am not sad.” 

I hate today.

“I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.” 

You have fucking no idea.

Wednesday x

Hi guys! It's Wednesday and its the mid week woohoo!! Day for me was rather slackish. Ok la not really, I had 3 hours GP lecture today and Geog tutorial. Was surviving with the 4 hours sleep yesterday.

And GP lecture was so embarrassing for me. Guess what happened? My hungry stomach decided to growl. Not 1 time, not 2 times, not 3 times, but I think like freaking 5 times. GOSH. 

Haha somemore the lecture hall damn quiet cos everyone doing paper la and people all around me heard it including my friend from the row in front of mine. Y I SO GLUTTON HAI. 

Anyway, am on the way to bayfront now for dinner at Todai! Complimentary for 3 person cos of the unsatisfying experience the last time we went there and complained numerous times. haha. What a long journey sigh. And I'm so bored right now. 

Let me show you some of my childhood photos. 

My #whatpubertydid to me -> forever ugly IC photos. 

Hahaha. And I think this is from my birthday

Hen cute hor HAHAHAHAHA. Praise myself yi xia. Kidding la hehehe. 

Alright bye bye!!! 

Tuesday food diary

Hey there! It's October 1st so have a good month ahead, will ya? Hope October will be real good to me in preparing for pre-a levels and a levels! 1 MORE MONTH TO A'S.

Meanwhile, here's some food entries of the day. Dinner at punggol plaza suki sushi after 3 hours of Geog! So proud of myself that I pulled through. 

Noms. Alright bye! 

Mental promise to myself and upon this blog that I won't nap today and finish my work before my sleep. 1 more month. Push on push on!