Mad

Selfie post / Food log post - I can't decide. I think I seriously have some multiple option decision phobia complication. Woo I just came up with a random term haha. 

On the way to work now. Mad tired. Mad mad tired. Mad mad mad tired. You get my point yet? 

You do? You really do? Ok I think you don't get my point yet.

I'm mad mad mad mad tired. Mad mad mad mad mad tired. Mad mad mad mad mad mad tired. 

Test - how many "mad" should I type next? 

I heard you say 7? YES 7! Good job! 

Lets continue...... 

Ok just kidding. I lazy type already.

//

Now playing : "Love, me" by Collin Raye. 

One of the songs that make me have the goosebumps. It's a really romantic and sweet song (well to me at least) 

It's about like this person narrating the love story of his grandparents. In the past, his grandma's dad kind of didnt approve them in getting together. So they had this plan to runaway and get married. 

BUT

I think the girl didnt turned up and gave him a letter instead.

The letter wrote: "if you get there before I do, don't give up on me. I will meet you when my chores are through  I don't know how long I will be. But I'm not gonna let you down. Darling, wait and see. And between now and then, before I see you again, I will be loving you. Love, me" (which is the chorus of the song) 

But anyway, then it moved to the present time where the grandma is passing away then the grandpa said the exact words with tears "if you get there before I do, don't give up one me. I will meet you when my chores are through , I don't know how long I will be. But I'm not gonna let you down. Darling wait and see. And between now and then, before I see you again, I will be loving you. Love, me" 

//

(Don't know if the lyrics are exact, I typed it without reference while I'm listening to the song) 

Mad touching right........... Especially when the grandma passed away and the grandpa said those words....... 

Go listen to it! With the tune and all it's even better! 

Ok having goosebumps again. It's so beautiful and lovely ): where's my Romeo?!?!??

Off day

What I did on my off day - Eat and shop. Most of the photos were taken while waiting for mum to finish her treatment. Had to wait for her for an hour odd. What better way to spend my time other than window shop and try on clothes? Girls who agree MAKE SOME NOISE woohoo!

Loving Zara's fitting room lighting. Didn't like the top but just tried anyway cos I needed to pass time hehe.

At MDS. Love the skirt! But no new piece ): boohoo. 

At cotton on. Am on the red carpet people! Er I would like to thank my father my mother my sister my relatives my friends........... 

AM I DOING IT RIGHT JEROME JARRE????? HAHA. Super ugly but all for you Jerome <3. 

For those who know who's Jerome Jarre, this is how he smiles usually. Quoting him "smile until you can't open your eyes". Such a cute, funny and beautiful person with a great heart. Can I marry you now?!?! 

Kidding. (Or maybe not) 

So that's basically how I spent my off day today - being a zi lian monster. HAHA. 

Kidding (Or am I?) 

Bye! 

Kidding (kid you not) 

HAHAHA OK BYE

I want to smear my lipstick over you

早安你好

Ok obviously the universe doesn't like

me today. My day just started on a bad note. 

Firstly, I got chocolate stains on my shirt while packing my j.co donut to work. 

And then I went to the mrt station to top up my card and the machine freaking ate my $10 and told me "Error, transaction cancelled. Please approach counter for assistance" or something like that. 

I went to the counter and he said they need 2 weeks to refund the money to me. Or I could either wait there and see if he can get the money out. But I was in a rush so I guess I just have to go back and check with them again. 

My $10 you also want to eat..... Fuuuuuu. 

Chill Crystal, chill, breathe in breathe out. Things will get better. 

Okay moving on, I went to collect my MOE edusave award yesterday. Received my Good Progress Award. Shocker there I know. In fact, I really don't think I deserve the award cos after all I didn't put in enough effort that I ought to be awarded. 

But yes, my rank points did improve by about 20 from j1. Not that my rank points in j1 is that good. My results were shitty compared to the rest of the school. 

Received it with sister. She received the EAGLES award! 

That's one of the volunteers explaining to me the significance behind the gov giving out the awards to students. Indeed, it's not only to motivate us to do better but it's also important to remember the award and encouragement received, and give it back to the society in the future! 

And this is us looking horrible (with the exception of the MP, he's looking great) , ok maybe I'm the only one looking horrible........ But that's the face you get after one tiring week of work and waking up early to attend the ceremony. Been so long, ok actually only a month plus , since I wore the uniform. Felt so odd la! 

Anyway the MP was nice! He made the effort to like talk to everyone and asked me about what I'm doing and about work. 

Went home to change and then went to Jalan Berseh to eat Laksa. Mummy got the laksa fever after watching the Channel U's 10pm show "Served hot". I didn't watch the show so I don't really know why people feel like eating laksa after that but apparently my other friend told me she felt like eating laksa too! Hahahahaha. 

The queue at the Jalan Berseh one was pretty long! Quite popular that stall, it's cooked over charcoal and it's only $2! 

Ordered other local delights too! 

Then headed to the temple to pray and bugis street to shop since it was nearby. It was only when we reached bugis street that I realise I'm quite an auntie. To make it sound more positive (who wants to be a aunty at 18 years old right zz) , I have good bargaining skills! 

Yay jealous right?!?!? Bought a skater skirt from one store (which later on I went to another store and found a better quality one for the same price hai) and then bought another floral skirt from the same store. And managed to bargain from $15 to $12. I'm so proud of myself right now. 

Then sis got a shorts from another store. It was originally $15. Asked the aunty to give me for $13, she said no. $13.50 (HAHA I can't believe I go bargain for $0.50) , she said no. And we settled at $14! Discount $1 I also happy.  

Haha I'm not that cheapskate ok. It's not about the discount or money saved but more like the satisfaction when I managed to get something cheaper than it's original price. It makes me feel good. Hashtag Auntie Logic. Hahaha

Actually I don't even know that bugis street can ask for discount one eh! Now I know! Muahaha. 

Ok good bye, starting work in 10 minutes. 9 hours shift today! I hope I don't look that tired that people call 999 and report that they saw a walking zombie. Bye! 

Train thoughts

Hello there! I'm on my way to work right now. So tired I can't even. 

I need some coffee right now. NOW NOW NOW. Lai ren ah kopi yi bei. 

Lai ren? Lai ren??? Ni men pao dao na li le ah. 

Wouldn't it be great if like there's beverage and snacks services on the train like those in England you see on TV? Or better still, if coffee can fall from the sky? Ok fine sorry,tired girl gibberish. Forgive me. 

I'm probably gonna get some coffee later but I have like this dilemma every morning. I want coffee BUT 

#1. There's no Starbucks (not trying to be a spoilt brat here but Starbucks tastes so good and it just makes you feel good) 

#2. There's subway coffee but it's freaking $3 for some machine made cappuccino.

#3. Well there's $1.50 coffee from some food stall but every time I step in I walk out smelling like hawker. The ventilation is pretty bad there. And I mean it annoys me la cos I bathe every morning and within hours I smell bad

#4. There's $1.20 machine coffee from 7 eleven. But the machine is out of order for days. Please repair it soon ok

So yesterday I settled for some soya bean milk. And since I was there, I ordered soya bean porridge with peanuts for lunch.

Really is geh kiang choice. It's too soya bean I can't take it. I mean like I'm drinking soya milk and then I eat this I feel like vommiting. 

Maybe soya bean lovers will love this but I still prefer my typical salty porridge.

Anyway Im really running out of food choices at my work place. In my one week of work, I ate like 3 times of subway. Subway is good though so it's not that bad. Luckily one of my colleagues buy lunch for us on the way to work from other places. 

I'm boring you with what's running through my mind ain't I? Forgive me hahahaha. I'm just really bored on the way to work right now. Continue reading ok. Got cute horse. 

Met up with Huishi and Crystal yesterday after work in town. These two rich tai tai went to manicure. Si xian mu de lor. Went to killiney for dinner! 

Ah see cute horse right! Haha. You are welcome

And my ootd yesterday in the fitting room while waiting for them. (Plus the gek sai face) There's what I wear to work almost everyday. Like skirt cardigan then some top. I REALLY NEED SOME NEW CLOTHES. 

Ok bye bye back to work! Have a great day! 

Love. Life. Love in life. Life in love.

Amy and Benedict were a couple. They were dating for 1 year and things have been going great. 

One thing though about Benedict is that he's overprotective. He is clingy due to insecurity and past failure in relationships.

Benedict would call Amy a few times everyday to check on her, would meet her everyday, would forbid her from talking to guys. So what's wrong with this? 

Amy felt suffocated. So suffocated that she felt that she needs a oxygen mask. 

Her negative feelings got the better of her. She asked for a break up. 

Benedict was, of course, devastated. He begged and begged Amy, ask for all the chance he needs to get her back. He cried to sleep for nights.

Amy was persistent though. Very persistent. She needed her freedom and time for herself. She just wants out in the relationship at that time. 

She got herself in a relationship few months later while Benedict took 2 years to get over her. 

A few years down the road. Amy experienced a few heartbreaks and failed relationships. She thought back on all the different relationships after Benedict. 

After Benedict, the first guy cheated on her. The second guy just didn't had the chemistry with her. The third guy flirted around too much, she just couldnt trust him. 

She, she thought about it, Benedict was actually the perfect one for her, the best relationship she ever had. 

She realised Benedict's possessiveness was because he loved her too much to lose her. He cared for her, he wants to spend all his time with her. 

Amy regretted. 

"I need to get back with him, I realise I still love him" , she thought. 

She contacted him, ask him how things are going. She wanted one more chance to work things out. 

But fate wasn't in their hands.

 Benedict was already blissfully in love with another girl. He already planned to propose to her on her coming birthday. Things weren't the same anymore. 

So. What's left then is Amy's regret and sorrow. 

//

Just wrote this little story (ok its not even a story) out based on what I hear from people, see and witnessed. 

Sometimes, you are just so suffocated in a relationship that you just want out of it and later regret. It makes me wonder about life's irony. Two person was once in love, you expect them to grow old together but they didn't. Shit happened. 

Sounds like drama but where do people who wrote the drama plot gets their inspiration from? Real life. 

Sad. Sad sad story and sad sad happenings. You missed your chance, you missed it. That's that. 

Tiredgirl95

HELLO EVERYBODY DID YOU MISS ME

Of course you did right. Pfffffff. No brainer question, I mean who doesn't?!? 

Just kidding la. Stop vommiting and scolding me in your mind. I'm like predicting "wtf this Crystal so disgusting who does she thinks she is"

// 

Anyway, I'm on my way now to dinner from work! It's my 5th day of work already, time flies man. Was late like 2 hours for work today oopsie. I was so so so tired last night I didn't even change my clothes and just slept right away. (Ya la damn lupsup I know) 

But luckily they didn't get mad at me and I just stayed later. Can't do that anymore man omg. 

Oh ya anyway, I didn't tell you guys right? I'm working at a tuition centre now as a centre admin. Nope not going to tell you which centre in case anyone decides to call me there and kajiao. Work's so far is not too bad, just kind of overwhelming for the first few days. 

So many things to learn, so many things to do, so many things to remember. I dreamt of work for the first four nights I'm not even joking. I was like feeling so stress in my sleep and I keep telling myself "aye don't think liao just sleep just sleep". 

It's better now already though! Thank god. And today at work was kind of nice after I got comfortable with the surroundings. Had a great talk talking to the accountant about his past and about love & marriage. Asked him stuff like "how do you know she's the right one when you got married?". Pretty interesting some of the insights!

 Tmr and Monday's my off days woohoo. I really need some rest.

Ok sorry for the boring work log today hahaha. Just thought I haven't been updating my little diary for some time already. 

Buh bye to you, X! 

Secondary school life

My sister's in sec 3 this year and seeing her go through secondary life just reminds me so much of myself last time. Haha. It's pretty interesting how much I've changed in my attitude and outlook in life now. Blame those hormones.

Secondary One (thirteen years old)

I actually remember going to school on the first day of school looking like a penguin. White top and long blue skirt hahaha. Don't know why I made reference to myself as a penguin that time, maybe cos its white like ice and blue like the ocean which I apparently perceive penguins stay?

 Aye anw, back to the topic I was pretty much looking like a nerd with those long skirts and yes, super high socks. 

It was pretty scary for me for first days. I mean you were practically the highest on the hierarchy chain in primary school. When you are in primary six, being the oldest around and practically the coolest shit out there. And boom, you are on the bottom in secondary sch as a sec 1 student.

 Lucky for me dad dropped me off on first day and I had my primary school friends esp Crystal with me! 

There are so many things I still rmb (I'm impressed my memory is not too bad)

- Making new friends at orientation camp and Crystal was kind of jealous because I was sticking around with this new friend and she cried. (HAHAHAHAHAHA sorry babe I love you) 

- Me and Crystal going into Cold War because of that and we both cliqued with different new friends 

- Shorter skirts, ankle socks, meeting new male friends 

- Feeling good about myself because at that moment, I get to know quite a number of male friends and got more attention & felt like the coolzxcbszbsjx girl (obviously I wasn't, I was delusional) 

- Having a new group of friends, particularly close to Nicole & co. (Thanks to my form teacher for changing my seat next to her) 

-Became rebellious and thinking I'm too cool for being mama and papa's girl 

Secondary Two (fourteen years old)

Our friendship phone chain with Nicole and Crystal
hahahaha that kind of look the cat super in trend last time! Like big eyes and weird looking and all.

Some of 2 Charity's girl

OOTD to a teacher's wedding. Market bag look-alike from bugis street last time, $10 only hahaha


super act emo shot. dull lighting somemore, emogurlgurlszvsvdsgvgz95

Secondary 2 was pretty much a very drama year for me. Like super drama.

One of the most drama one was getting a boyfriend and getting into lots of shit because of that. 

I got a boyfriend to call mine that year. It was sure memories to look back on now but I mean, if I can turn back time (which I so sincerely hope I could) , I would just slap myself tight in the face and ask myself what the freaking hell I was doing. 

Seeing my cousins and sisters at this tender age of 14 to 15-ish now, I truly see my concerns of my parents at that moment.  If my sister is to so much so get a boyfriend now (as much as I would love to trust her and believe she can be trusted just like I hoped at that age), I would be SO worried. I mean WHAUUUT, you are only 14 girl! Go learn your algebra, not get a boyfriend! 

Anyway, while I was sec two, I really got to say hormones fucked me up pretty badly. I was very rebellious (thank god those hormones didn't made me do drugs or smoke) for my own standards.

- I lied to my parents a lot 

- Scored really badly for my exams. I was placed in some rescue programmes because I was seen by the school as one of those who can't promote 

- Got into pretty bad relationship with my parents 

- Got grounded, I practically have to get home within 30 mins after school every day. Yes my dad would make me call him from home to make sure of that 

- Got my phone confiscated for a few months (IKR, how do I live without it? I survived anw haahha)

- Did extremely childish things that I regretted deeply up to date 

- Hurt people I cherished 

- Became friends back with Crystal yay.

- Hurt this girl who was actually pretty much a nice girl, but I guess I was jealous of the attention she gets sometimes and hurt her with words. Haters are truly usually the ones who are jealous of something others have (If you are reading this and happen to be that someone, I'm very sorry. You are such a brave and amazing girl) 

- LOL at this - diao and body scan people. Thinking this is extremely cool but it's just disgusting and ah lian-ish. 

- Pon CCA for like close to one year just because I wanted to spend more time with my ex bf (stupid ass me) 

- Got into disciplinary problems with messy hair, ankle socks, short skirts. I think my form teacher at that point think I'm extremely irritating (hi five to that). Even got myself into a one week detention which is pretty much retarded when I think of it right now

It was practically a year that I did the most utmost shitty things up to date and I really regretted some things a lot. But luckily by the end of the year, I pulled up my socks (not my ankle socks though HAHA) and improved my grades. Thank god I even promoted.

 It was truly a blurry year where I don't even know what I'm thinking and feeling. It was until this turning point that during one conflict and fight with my parents that they both teared (they seldom break down, even my mum who is by the way a really strong woman in my eyes) that I really realise the damage I have caused and kind of want to change.

Secondary Three ( I'm 15!)

shi act cute de lor

Can't stand my fringe hahaha cannot even see my eyes la.
How did I see things........

After exams. Exams must act act bring plastic folder one. Ya la stop staring I have pointy ears ):

Like pig like that HAHAHA

At USS with er gu and uncle meng!

momsie!

At sis's birthday which she actually look unhappy in this picture.
Aw looking at this picture, I miss my old house

That year, it was when things really turned for a change I guess. I broke up with my boyfriend of 9 months( if you so happen to be reading this, I really wished we ended on a positive note and I'm really sorry for the ending) , made new friends (some which I previously judged so much but they, or rather, she is such a awesome friend I love) , got better results , went back to CCA

That year....

- Seeing male peers wear long pants and be amused by it 

- Got into different class with Crystal ): that smart girl went into pure science class

- Nicole which was one my closest friend that time migrated ( ): ) so I was forced to get out of my comfort zone and meet new friends

- A friendship with Huishi happened. Which I mentioned before in some blog posts that it was a very epic thing. Because I used to totally see her hen bu shuang last time. But she eventually became one of my bestest friends in secondary school and we are still close up to date and she's super amazing and strong ( <3 for you hui hui HAHAHAHA) 

- my results actually improved tremendously! I couldn't rmb whether it was sec 3 end or sec 4 start that I was top 5 of the class from like bottom position in sec 2. So guys, if you are doing badly, as long as you put your heart into it, you will do just fine. 

- Relationship with my parents got better which I'm so very grateful for. 

- Got more freedom too. At least I'm no longer permanently grounded lol. 

- Had a great 15th birthday celebration at Wei Xiang's condo BBQ pit. (Thanks guys hehehehe) 

Secondary Four (Sweet 16 lo) 

I have the best mum ever to bring me to JB's concert hehehehe.

Ok so obviously secondary 4 is one of the most important years for most of all because of the big O - GCE O Level's.

I was doing okay, but a few times I got off of track and grades dropped.

That year, I...

- Received my first MOE award -> Good progress award

- Had lots of afternoon supplementary lessons. And going for $2.50 chicken rice meal before that.

- Made new friends esp Stanley & co. We hanged out a lot at his condo to study or catch up frequently after school or weekends

- Had an amazing sweet 16. First time that I felt so loved and blessed in a long time 

- Became more religious which made me felt better and stronger emotionally 

-Was close to some amazing friends esp Justin, Yu Fei, Ryan, Huishi, Crystal, Stanley & co etc etc etc.

- Cried quite a bit 

- Got myself a really great tuition teacher, Jeremy, the best tuition I ever had. 

- Got myself more involved in CCA, joined SYF. I'm thankful for my teacher in charge at that time. On my CCA's farewell party, she said I was one of her fav students because I showed her that if I want to put my heart into something, I can. (Because I pon my cca almost a year previously and went back after my parents addressed some of my concerns and reservations about going back with her). But actually, no, thank you Miss Ong. Thank you for giving me a brand new chance to get back into the cca and allowing me to grow.

Hmm. It was quite a tough year but also a good year! Of course O levels put me into a lot of pressure, I mugged really hard a month from the exams, spamming TYS, revising. 

I remember there was this time when I was studying hard at home and I just missed my grandma so much (fyi, I hanged out almost everyday after sch at my grandma's when I was young even when I was in secondary sch because my parents both worked. So anw at that period, I haven't seen her for quite long). So I called her and asked her how she was. She was like "I was just thinking about you, you haven't called for so long. How are you?" 

Walao at that moment I just broke out into tears man, omg now I type this I'm tearing a little too. Hahahahaha but yes, so I cried at that moment cos I just miss her so much and thought o levels is so stressful. My mum was so shocked when she came out into the living room and saw me crying and me crying made news among my relatives HAHA.

Despite though stressful year, it was a year I was really maturing as a person. I'm very appreciative up to date of the support I received that year. I couldn't have made it this far if it wasn't for them. 

I remember my aunt got me a gift to reward me for getting an A for Chinese O levels which I still am so touched right now. Mummy and daddy constantly telling me they believe I can do it and gave me lots of encouragements through text, letters, actions etc etc. Grandma going to the temple to pray for me, getting me tonics and stuff. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!!!! Blessed I am truly (or rather blessed am I truly, or is it I am truly blessed, or I truly am blessed, aye whatever you know what I mean) . 

//

If I have to sum up my secondary sch experience in one word, it would have to be revolutionary. Hahaha probably too exaggerating a term but it truly was a crazy 4 years which I have changed and grew so much! And I'm so glad after that 4 years, I turned out well. Eventually did relatively well for O levels which surpassed mine and probably everyone's expectations with , good enough for JC (which is another story for another day) . But anyway, for those in upper secondary right now, I guess any senior would agree with you that O levels is definitely not tough as long as you put in effort! Just spam those TYS and revise enough you will do great! 

It was a crazy 4 years and I really hoped I wasn't such an impressionable teen back done. Really wished I was more matured. 

An advice for any teen and their parents out there is that the key is communication. Talk it out with your kids and understand them. And make sure they understand your point of view as well. Make them realise your worries and disappointments (be it why you want them home early, why you want them to do well in school, why you dont want them to have bf/gf). Talk to them.Trust them and work things out. Never resort to relentless punishments and beating without fully putting yourself into their view. Communication is more vital than anything. I'm glad that my mum built the bridge of communication eventually and that was the bridge that saved me. 

But anyway, ya la I was so childish last time. Now I think of it, pin up my fringe, wear higher socks, wear longer skirt..... HOW DIFFICULT IS IT OMG CRYSTAL ANG YOU STUPID ASS BIMBO. The many times I actually got scolded by teachers for that is totally not worth it la omg. I guess it just hormones (yet again), I was insecure. Advice out there : if someone loves/cares for you, they won't care about how you look. Period. As cheesy as this is (ooh cheesy reminds me of the yum cheese fries I had just now), you're beautiful just the way you are!!!! 

//

Ok it's 12.35am liao. I have work tmr! So..... I'm gonna end off this post right now! Good night world, stay gold and beautiful!