These few months were really hard on me due to some personal problems that proves to be pretty depressing and unfortunately, caught me at my wits. Coupled with my first round of examinations at university, I was indeed pretty lost. Looking back, I don't know how I got through finals when I broke down into uncontrollable tears just a day before exams.

There are those times when I was a complete mess, breaking down and isolating myself from the world just a little bit, just wallowing in all of my tears and depressed thoughts.

But at the end of the day, the pity game has to end as soon as my tears stop.

At this point, emotions are really getting the better of me looking at the big snowball of problems that are rolling up even more.  I will be fine, I hope. I always manage to somehow, even if I'm just being forcibly dragged by these problems.

Sometimes I'm really amazed by how my mind can be consumed by so many thoughts at the same time. Do you never need a rest, mind? Mentally wounded and drained but what else can I do than to suck it up and face it huh.

Please forgive me for the times I failed and let these problems overwhelm me and broke down, I'm trying even though I lament at how I could have done better.

I will be better and stronger in the next post, I promise. I will even if I'm not feeling so.

And you know, how I yearn for someone to tell me how strong I am and can be & am doing great despite of all these adversities. But even more so, how I yearn for me to love myself a little bit more; to acknowledge my strength instead of waiting for people who might or might not even matter at the end of the day to give me their nod of approval and acknowledgement.

What am I rambling on even.

Good night world, you will see a stronger me at the end of this snowball.

Carpe diem

One day, overthinking will be the death of me