Frustrations

I'm in that kind of mood where I have so many thoughts, frustrations, emotions I wanna vent out but I just don't know where to start from. So many things in my mind sometimes I learnt that its easier to just shove in all one side and convince myself not to think about anything (which is failing badly rn) and try my best to be distracted. If someone have the ability to dissect my brain and extract every single of my thoughts out (bad analogy I know), I'm positive they will find a thousand and one thoughts running through my mind.

I just...... don't know where to start. I feel really frustrated I wanna scream at the top of my lungs and sleep it off. I don't know where this leads me but I hope I will be fine soon, and with every adversity, comes a learning point and a stronger / more independent me. I just pray for the best and hope that all my lucky stars continue looking out for me. Holding on to the belief that I'm the only one that can allow myself to be hurt / be in a certain kind of unfortunate situation. Maybe then I will stop comparing and pinpointing and force myself to straighten my back, grit my teeth and move the fuck on.

Sometimes I just want someone to pat me on my back and tell me "Crystal, you are doing great and I'm proud of you for how much you have accomplished despite circumstances" and reassure me of the better days. As contrary to squeezing every fibre of me and looking at what have I done wrong instead of what I have done right. I guess its just human right? To focus on the black spot in a supposed say... A4 sized white piece of paper instead of the remaining 99% white of the paper.  Guess at the end of the day, I just have to rely on the stupid excuse of "being human" to excuse all the negative happenings in life.

I just yearn to have complete control of my life instead of being in the case akin to a dream that I had a lot of times. I often dream of running / walking but my legs are not able to hit the ground, I'm always somehow floating and walking on air and not being able to have full control of my movements if you can visualise that. That scares me in my sleep and it scares me even more that it is happening in a way or so in my life.

For now, I shall continue chanting the mantra "after every adversity emerge a better you, its for your own good and growth" in my mind. If not, how else am I supposed to go through all these?

I want a cloud

Hey! Thought I haven't updated in quite some time hehe. Just finished watching one episode of Scorpion which made me teared a little. So touching omg ep 12. Any other Scorpion fans around?

Haven't been updating because, well, I have been busy recently. Busy getting fat and eating. HAHA. After looking through my camera roll, I'm like "omg ya ah, why I keep eating" hahaha.

But you know, Singaporeans.... What to do in Singapore except look for good food? Hehe. Come come let me share some pics of food I find in my camera roll with you.

Recap of food journey of Crystal hehe

this was from....... I can't remember HAHA. omg getting old..... from some cafe in Tanjong Pagar I think. Was yummy! Love berries heh

From bf! Banana pudding heh

We took this to some chinese restaurant to eat after dinner and the waiters were so amused by this haha. They were showing this to each other and being all amused by it when we asked them to help us put this in the fridge. Was yummy! Had banana bits in it, I usually don't like pudding but this was nice!

And this was from one of the weekends where I met up with the girls to have bai mee fen at Punggol.

Famous bai mee fen from White Restaurant. The one hour of waiting, oh god.

& drinks afterwards at Fur Kicks. Paulaner with lychee juice!

hehehe sweetie got me more food to fatten me up

Goodwood park hotel durian cake that colleagues got to share. mmmmmmmmm

& Durian Macaron!

dinner at soup spoon cum hand burger (I think that's the name of the restaurant heh)

nope I didn't eat guy in pic (namely Marcus) for dinz. #oklame

Fav froyo! Yami yoghurt heh

 

Charcoal waffle with earl grey lavender ice cream at oblong! Love anything floral yums

this was at Holland v! Dinz at Starker

& dessert at Sunday Folks! Dessert at Sunday Folks on a non-Sunday cos we be rebels yo

one for one Triple Coffee Jelly! 

Strawberry from aunt! So big and yums. 

my cute aunt got us this hahahaha so cute!

@ Fart Tartz located at Expo

this was really good! Fav cake in a jar as of now!

hehe really is blessed and I really is singlish much and I really is don't care cos I tired now and I really is ok, nothing really is to add on already

sandwich made by master chef Ong

buffet with sec sch friends the other day

Breakfast at The Book Cafe after last weekend's staycation at Studio M

see I eat healthily too! Dinner last monday

Dinner tonight lol

Okay, I think up to this point, everyone must be adamant that I'm a glutton. In defence, I don't really eat that much hahaha. Usually when I dine out with bf or with my family, more often than not, I don't finish my portion and give some away. So there there, I'm not a glutton, stop judging you judgemental thing!

Let's see what other photos I found in my phone other than 99% of food. Hahahaha kidding, 99% is too exaggerating but no joke man, there are way too much photos of food in my camera roll. Maybe about 65%? haha

Moving on to non-food events! 

My first soccer match with bf! Surprised him with the tickets cos he love soccer heh

with the Arsenal lover

Was so thrilling watching the game! So jing zhang. After the game, I suddenly gained interest in soccer and started watching the subsequent games that SG played in heh so exciting

Snapchat that sis took hahaha

Went to visit some relatives ->  visit temples -> shopping with family on Vesak day 

Super pretty parrot (?) from farm visiting with bf and his family the other day.

Love the pastel colours! The cute girl holding this bird told me its called "sky" 

 so cute!

At "play lah" exhibition which we happened to chance upon when we went to IT show that day

Was really so old school I can't recall how to play this card games, but I recall playing these card games quite often when I was young!

I can't believe this was my first time playing checkers hahaha

was fun!

and this was when bf made an attempt to tie a bun for me when we went for a jog / walk.

er. A for effort? looks..... artistic. 

drinks with bf cos no work the other day!

Ending this post with this cute photo hehe. Someone please get me this cute cloud!! Way too cute but it will probably suffer in this hot and humid weather. But so cute ):

Anyway, if you read up to this point, kudos to you! You have such great patience to be reading through this meaningless post haha.

Sorry but this is a great space for me to vomit my photos to since I seldom update IG/FB nowadays so its like 拍了不 post 白不 post y'know what I mean. hehe

Ok bye bye guys. I'm heading to sleep cos I need to wake up at 7am tomorrow for work!

Good night, sweet dreams, sleep tight, rest well, have a good rest, don't let the bed bugs bite!