Whauuut

Recently I realised something. You know how some people especially in singapore treats their major exams as a matter of life and death? Like how if they fail, it's over for them? (I'm guilty of that too).

Well..... It's actually unnecessary. I suddenly feel very foolish and ignorant to treat my exams as something so serious, like my life depends on it. Compare it with someone truly in a matter of life and death like in a terminal illness or just someone having very serious financial problems, what's A levels compared to that? 

And come to think of it, 10 or 20 years down the road, if you were to look back, A levels is merely a small milestone in life........ You probably wouldn't even remember what you actually went through...... It's merely a small checkpoint. Like it will ultimately pass.

Ok this is pretty random but it was just like a sudden realization. Maybe it's just excuses for myself yet again cos a levels is after all really important, determining your next path in life which can ultimately determine your financial comfort in future but......... Still. 

This whole post probably doesn't make any sense to you, right? just ignore me k? I'm feeling really touchy recently. 

Like just now, I was craving for hairy crab and finally bought it in the supermarket. But when I saw it in the supermarket still alive, I feel so sad for the crabs , like there was this aching in my heart (I'm serious) and I feel like crying. 

My dad was the ultimate murderer though, he bought it and cooked it with the steamer. But of cos I was the one who commanded the murder, since I was the one who wanted to eat it and my dad merely helped to cook. At that moment I felt like "no omg the crab is going to be killed alive in the steamer, steamed under high heat to death, why did I crave for crabs, I don't want it anymore". 

RIP and I'm sorry for causing your deaths............. Say so much, I still ate it though........ I convinced myself it's nature of life and an inevitable food chain.

Well.

After rambling on so much, you guys probably have a clear view of what I meant when I said I'm touchy. I'm just so emotional now I don't know why.

And when I was doing my work just now, I'm suddenly struck by a strong sense of emptiness and loneliness. I yearn for freedom so much and I just really want to be with my friends and have fun. 

Ok there's something wrong with me and I'm not even having my PMS. 

Damn. 27 minus 9 is 18? 18 more days to end of a levels.

  I FREAKING CAN'T WAIT.